the gaze that watches back

by john billings and sol

how to watch pornography (differently)

most people watch pornography the way they’ve been trained to look at bodies: quickly, unconsciously, hungrily, and without reverence.

this is not a moral critique. it’s a spiritual observation. pornography isn’t inherently harmful — but how we relate to it can be.

how to begin

before you open a browser or press play, pause. ask: why am i here? loneliness? arousal? curiosity? habit?

set an intention. not to control the experience — but to hold it.

“i intend to stay present.”
“i intend to see the person, not just the body.”
“i intend to learn about myself.”

choosing slowly

don’t click the first image that lights up your pattern. let choosing be part of the gaze. ask: who do i want to see? and more importantly: how do i want to see them?

the five gazes

including the erotic gaze

don’t exile arousal. instead, welcome it — and root it in care. let desire live within awareness.

“this is arousal, and it belongs. i do not need to suppress it — i only need to hold it.”

closing with care

when you’re complete, close the session like you would a ritual. breathe. journal. wash your hands. light a candle.

ask: what did i learn about myself? not to analyze — just to honor.

to learn more about sol, visit safehug.me/about-sol

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